


Call Me When You're Sober

by wanderinghope



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-03
Updated: 2010-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-20 08:24:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderinghope/pseuds/wanderinghope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Quinn and Tina left Lima they never anticipated to see each other again let alone attend the same college. And they sure as hell didn't expect to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Me When You're Sober

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning :** extreme angst, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, implied attempted rape, and homophobic slurs.

**high school: senior year**

Quinn let out a relieved sigh as she moved her tassel to the left side. She was finally done with this hell hole known as William McKinley High School and in the fall she would be heading off to college. She would be heading off to anonymity, where she wouldn't be known as the stupid girl who got knocked up in high school. She wouldn't be the dirty slut that all the church moms didn't want their daughters associating with. When ever she walked through Lima no one ever thought of all the horrible things she had to go through, all the teasing and ridicule, having to make the decision to give her baby girl up for adoption. No one ever though of that when they judged her for being a whore. Quinn was sick of all the bullshit in Lima and couldn't wait to get out.

Tina couldn't wait to get out either, but not because she wanted to go back to being invisible. She wanted the opposite actually. Being part of the Glee club in high school had been pretty awesome, but there were always the popular football players of Cheerios tearing them down -- even after they placed at Nationals their Senior Year. That had been a really big accomplishment for their little Glee club but no one in Lima, Ohio seemed to appreciate that. So Tina couldn't wait to get away, to start paving the path of her life as a somebody. Walking across the stage at graduation, Tina grinned, knowing that things were going to change.

Quinn quit the Glee club and went back to the Cheerios after she gave birth, one of the conditions set by her mother when she took her back, so it wasn't surprising that both Quinn and Tina were heading off to Bryn Mawr in the fall without knowledge that the other would be there as well. Both girls spend their summer the same though, obsessing over which dorm they were going to be living in, which meal plan they should go on, when their registration date was, what classes they were going to take, how their professors were going to be, worrying about making friends... In Lima, Quinn and Tina live exactly 4.2 miles away from each other. At Bryn Mawr the girls will live less than a mile away. Ironic how they won't even know of the others existence until their sophomore year.

**college: freshman year**

Quinn could tell you a lot of things about the college's library. She could tell you that the comfiest chairs to sit in were on the second floor (the blue striped one was the absolute best) and that if you really didn't want to be bothered the most secluded place to sit was the far corner of the basement. That the overnight security guard's name was Rocky and he liked his coffee black. That there were exactly 142 computers in the lap and at any given time at least five of them were broken.

She knew all this because she spent her entire first year holed up in the library. After her crazy high school experience, Quinn was more than ready to have a quite and boring life. The reward of a shiny 4.0 gpa at the end of the year wasn't too bad either. Apparently all her anti-social behavior payed off. Her mother had never been more proud of Quinn and even though she pretty much hated her father after he kicked her out and then had an affair on her mother, Quinn was even a little pleased to get a letter from her dad congratulating her. She definitely thought this hardcore academia was her thing.

Books, libraries, essays, class before noon... definitely not Tina's scene at all. She spent most of her first year partying, just doing the bare minimum to pass her classes. Every weekend it was a different scene, a different hookup... Tina was finally popular, finally somebody not just shoved into the background. She had always heard that alcohol was a social lubricant, and her experience proved it to be definitely true.

With alcohol also came experimentation, and Tina sure got her fill of that freshman year. She had known about her bisexuality for quite a while. In Lima she dated Artie for a while and she had definitely liked him but there was always this part of her that wanted to explore _other_ things... with girls. It wasn't a coincidence that her audition song for Glee had been Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl'. In a small, repressed town like Lima it was just her underhanded way in expressing that part of herself.

College was a different world for both Quinn and Tina and it seemed that everything they wanted to change from high school came true. However, there were three and a half years left and a lot left to happen...

**college: sophomore year**

To say that Tina's parents were displeased with her was an understatement. After her less than great first year, and midterms approaching, her parents were giving her a lot of pressure to do well. So for the first time, Tina entered the library.

Not much had changed for Quinn. She still lived in the library. She was still anti-social. She was becoming more pale and frail looking each week she spent barricaded in the library. So when Tina first saw a skinny, blonde reaching up to grab a book down the very aisle that she needed a book from, she didn't even blink twice. There were lots of blonde people in the word. What were the odds that this specific blonde would be her high school classmate? It was when Quinn looked up as saw the Asian girl donning blue streaks that were oh-so popular with one Tina Cohen-Chang in their sophomore year that the blonde's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. When Tina stepped even closer to Quinn, she was unable to just not say anything at all. This was far too weird and unlikely and she couldn't just let this even happen without at least checking to make sure it was actually her former classmate. What if Tina had a twin that Quinn never knew about? No... that was ridiculous.

Clearing her throat slightly, Quinn looked over and said, "Tina?" quietly. This was all just so bizarre.

Tina turned to the voice saying her name and had to blink a few times before it registered in her brain that this gaunt, shell of a girl in front of her was Quinn Fabray. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "What happened to you?" That wasn't what she had intended to say at all. "I mean, hi, how are you?" Though Tina could already tell the answer was 'not good' just by looking at her.

There was still a little bit of fire left in Quinn because she got this completely indignant look in her eyes before crossing her arms. "I'm fine, thanks. Uh... how are you?" Even in the best of times, when Quinn was fully committed to Glee club, she and Tina were never close so this whole conversation was pretty awkward.

"Yeah, just, you know, studying for midterms..."  
"Oh me too--"  
"--Well I--"  
"Oh, me too--"  
"--Yeah, well, see you..."  
"Right, bye."

* * *

For some reason Tina just couldn't get the image of Quinn in all her unrecognizable glory out of her head and the next week when she was returning library books she scanned the area to look for her. It didn't take long to find her. Apparently Quinn was a creature of habit these days and was right in the same area where they bumped in before.

"Hi Quinn," she said cheerfully, trying to act like this little run in wasn't planned and wow it was just such a great surprise to see her again and she was so excited. At least that's what Tina was trying to convey. The skeptical look on Quinn's face showed that she wasn't really buying it.

After a few moments of silence, Tina decided to pull out a chair to sit across from Quinn. This was as good as any a place to do homework right? Right. They don't talk much but Tina could swear by the time they packed up to leave go walk back to the dorms Quinn had a small smile on her face.

* * *

Tina had pretty much become a permanent fixture at Quinn's side when at the library, but the blonde quite enjoyed the company. Honestly, Tina did too. And she was actually making good grades, so her parents were especially happy about that. The first few times Tina started hanging around Quinn wasn't really sure what it was, but she just got these weird feelings. Maybe it was just the shock at having company after being so solitary. And she started feeling self conscious of her behavior and attire in a way she hadn't since high school. Even though she felt ridiculous, she started trying to make herself look more presentable if she knew Tina would be around. Looking back, the fact that Quinn had been parading around in baggy sweats and over-sized t-shirts this past year was embarrassing. Tina had known Quinn has the head bitch in charge of McKinley and she couldn't even imagine what the other girl must have been thinking of her now since she was so changed.

It wasn't Tina's place to judge Quinn. She had watched her go through high school after giving birth to her daughter and giving her up for adoption. She saw her return to the Cheerios and become the ice queen again. She saw her go back to not having any real friends and being cut off from the things that actually made her happy. She knew that post-pregnancy things hadn't been easy for Quinn. But it killed Tina to watch her still be that girl when she didn't have to be.

* * *

"Do you want to go get some coffee?"

After hours of sitting in silence, the only noises to be heard were pages turning, the squeak of highlighter pens against paper, and the soft clicking of fingers typing on a keyboard, Tina's sudden words took Quinn by surprise.

"But I--" Quinn paused, not really knowing what to say. They had been studying for hours and a break wouldn't be completely out of the question. But Quinn wasn't used to that. It was just work, work, work.

Tina cut her off, rolling her eyes. "They have wireless there. I just though, I don't know... A change of scenery might be nice." Tina started packing up her books, as if she expected Quinn to cave in.

Well, she was right. After triple checking to make sure her essay saved, Quinn reluctantly shut her laptop and stuffed it into her bag. "Fine, but just a short break right?"

Tina sighed and shouldered her book bag. "You work too hard," she said as they started walking out of the library. But hey, at least it was a start.

* * *

They made it a routine to meet at the coffee shop a couple times a week and Tina can't help but notice the way Quinn is starting to get some color in her cheeks again. The bags under her eyes are still way too dominant, but at least she doesn't have that chalky paleness about her anymore. Sometimes Quinn looked up at Tina just to see her smiling. Little did she know it was because Tina was just happy that she seemed to actually be helping Quinn.

* * *

The rest of the year went pretty much the same. They studied, they drank coffee together. Quinn stopped looking like a corpse. Tina passed all her classes with good grades. They gave each other a hug goodbye as Tina was due to drive back to Lima for the summer while Quinn stayed at Bryn Mawr to take classes. Quinn couldn't stop thinking about how her last hug was from her mother the day she drove off for college last fall. Tina couldn't stop thinking about how Quinn's blonde hair kept tickling her face and how it smelled like strawberries. And how she can't afford to have these kinds of feelings for someone like Quinn Fabray. Especially when she thought she might be the only friend Quinn had.

They didn't talk much over the summer. Definitely not enough to realize that they both celebrated their 21st birthday while separated. Tina spent it with the old gang, silly, happy and drunk. Quinn spent it alone, studying for a midterm.

Quinn and Tina exchanged a few emails. Neither mention their birthdays. Quinn because she didn't see it as important. Tina because she didn't want to rub it in Quinn's face that she was off having fun while the blonde was stuck in school.

**college: junior year**

A week before classes were due to start, Tina arrived back into town and immediately invited Quinn out to dinner so they could catch up. Of course Quinn was wary about this. It's not like she had much to tell. But she can't really say no since she isn't busy with anything else.

They met at an Italian restaurant close to campus and although Tina was happy to see that Quinn had dressed up a little, she frowned at the paleness she got back.

"Did you go outside at all this summer?" Tina chastised.

"I was taking classes. I had to study," Quinn instantly defended herself.

"You were taking like six credit."  
"Well it was more than you."  
"The credits wouldn't transfer from the community college and I wanted to go home."  
"Whatever. Can we just order?"

It was sort of sad but Quinn realized that this was more animated than she had been all summer. All it took was five minutes in the presence of Tina Cohen-Chang and she was already going crazy. Apparently this was the downside of actually having a friend.

They each ordered some pasta dish and as an after thought Tina asked for a glass of red wine. Quinn was feeling a little daring for some reason figured why the hell not before she ordered a glass as well. Tina raised her eyebrow at Quinn, as she was unaware they were both legal to drink now.

"You know, let's just get a bottle," she said to the waiter. It would be cheaper that way anyway. They both showed their IDs, feeling pretty cool about it actually, then just sat back and waited.

Soon enough they both had glasses of wine in front of them and not even half a glass in Quinn was already giggling. The last time she drank was when she was 16 and understandably she had been a little wary of alcohol since then. But the lucky part of going to an all girls school meant no boys around to distract (and impregnate) her. Tina was able to hold her booze a lot better. They finished the first bottle before their food even arrived and Tina wasn't really feeling it yet so she ordered another bottle.

Quinn knew it was a bad idea but the wine was right in front of her so she just kept drinking and giggling and it was the most relaxed she had felt in years. Tina wasn't about to discourage Quinn because this was the most she had seen her smile in the all the years she had known her. By the time dinner was over somehow both girls were quite drunk. Funny how that had been neither of their intentions when they planned to meet for a quiet dinner.

Tina's apartment was a small hike away from the restaurant. Tina just planned on walking Quinn to her apartment since it was on the way before stumbling her own way home, but when Quinn realized that Tina wanted to walk home alone this late at night she shook her head firmly. "No. It--it's dark. No. Come on, Tinaaaaa. We'll go to mineee," she slurred out before grabbing the Asian's hand and dragging her up the walkway that led to her apartment building.

All Tina could do was roll her eyes because even when thoroughly drunk, Quinn still had to be the most responsible person she knew. She giggled to herself as Quinn struggled with getting her key in the lock and childishly clapped when she finally got it right. That just earned her a glare from Quinn but it was so worth it.

Crossing into the threshold, Tina expected something a lot different than what she saw. It was surprisingly normal. Just a small studio apartment with a few dirty dishes in the sink and a laundry basket of clean clothes she had yet to put away.

Quinn somehow managed to trip over the rug and knock a pile of books over while attempting to cross the room and get them both pajamas, which just sent Tina into another fit of giggles.

Standing there, looking completely indignant with her hands on her hips, Quinn said, "Wha--what arrrreyou laughing at?" Her words blended together a bit, and Tina just wanted to laugh more but instead she crossed the room and hopped onto the bed. Pajamas were too complex a concept for the both of them so Tina stripped off her jeans then pulled Quinn down onto the bed.

Quinn just let out a grunt as she hit the mattress then followed suit and shimmied out of her own jeans. She kicked down the covers and hip-checked Tina further into the bed before pulling the covers over the both of them. Somehow she managed to reach the lamp and turn that off too before snuggling into the bed. It was only a twin so Tina was pressed up against Quinn's back and she fell asleep to her hot, even breath against her neck. Just as she slipped into unconsciousness, Quinn couldn't help but think of how nice it was to cuddle someone.

They were both going to be hungover as hell in the morning and completely confused as to why they woke up spooning, but at that moment things were pretty perfect.

* * *

It took Tina until about midway through the semester to finally convince Quinn to go to a party with her. Maybe the blonde was just hoping this would finally shut Tina up or maybe she was just feeling particularly good about finishing her latest paper (it had been especially grusome and she really just needed to let off some steam) but she finally said yes.

A few beers in and Quinn was feeling giggly. She was also flustered by the fact that there were real live guys at the party. It was pretty much the first time she had seen a guy that wasn't her professor in more than a year. Tina was off somewhere talking to some of her classmates, leaving Quinn to fend for herself. And right then a really stubborn, persistent guy wouldn't leave her alone.

"So, barbie, how about we go some place quieter so we can _talk_ ," he slurred out as he eyed her up and down for what must have been the hundredth time that night. And the way he said 'talk' made her skin crawl. He tone clearly meant 'I want to fuck you' and Quinn had no interest in doing that.

Quinn ground her teeth together slightly in frustration and moved away from him yet again. But as expected he just kept following her.

"Look, can't you take a hint? I'm not interested." She was starting to sound like a broken record.

"Aww, baby, don't be like that. I'm everyone's type." Quinn didn't think guy could be any sleezier.

"Well not _mine_ ," she growled out and moved away once last time, hoping to God that he would just give up.

Of course she wasn't that lucky. "So what _is_ your type then, barbie?"

Quinn was just pissed off now and it was taking everything in her will power not go kick him in the groin. Maybe it was all that rage that caused her to do what she did next because really there was no ounce of truth to it. At all.

"Girls," she snapped before storming off, her blonde hair billowing behind her, to find Tina.

* * *

_Damn she looks hot when she's mad_ Tina thought as Quinn stomped her way over to her. Except she shouldn't be having thoughts like that about Quinn. In fact she should be asking her something like 'Why do you look upset' or 'What's wrong?' instead of checking her out.

"Men are pigs," Quinn grumbled as she leaned against the wall next to Tina. It probably didn't make Quinn feel better when all Tina did was pull her in for a hug, giggling as she said, "And you're just realizing this now?"

Quinn pouted and dropped her head down onto Tina's shoulder. Eventually she lifted her head back up and immediately let out a loud groan because Mr. Persistent was heading straight for her. "Asshole at twelve o'clock. I thought I got rid of him when I told him my type was vagina but apparently he just can't take the hint."

Tina's eyes went wide momentarily but then after a deep breath she decided to play it cool. Plus she had a few drinks in her which was most likely causing her to be this bold. "Well maybe if he saw you kiss another girl he'd, you know, _take a hint_." She said, repeating Quinn's phrasing.

"You offering, Chang?" Quinn smirked.

In the past year and a half Tina had never seen a full blown smirk like that on Quinn's face. Sure sometimes she _thought_ she saw a smile or a smirk but then mostly just blamed it on her deteriorating eyesight caused by staring at her computer screen too much or weird lighting or shadows. And even though Tina was fairly certain she was drunk at that moment, there was no mistaking that it was a real smirk she was seeing. Before she answered Quinn's question or even bothered to ask if she was joking or not, Tina leaned forward and pressed her lips Quinn.

It completely caught Quinn off guard but she immediately kissed back, slowly, savoring her first kiss in ... she didn't even want to think of how many years it had been since she kissed someone.

Abruptly Tina pulled back and both girls looked around a little awkwardly, wondering what had just happened. After a few moments, Quinn cleared her throat and said, "Well it worked. He's gone. Uh, thanks." Right. They had only been doing that to make that jerk go away. Clearly.

At the end of the night, the girls hugged goodbye, still feeling a little awkward about their impromptu kiss, but both were trying to play it cool ... And with that they each made their way home.

* * *

_Quinn's back arched in pleasure as Tina kissed her way down the blonde's neck, stopping at her collar bone to suckle and nip gently at the protruding bone. Tina's hair tickled across Quinn's breasts, causing her nipples to harden and Quinn moaned when Tina's hot mouth finally enclosed around one. Whimpering as Tina's tongue worked over her nipple, Quinn brought her own hand up and grazed's Tina's hardening buds with the pad of her thumb._

_They both let out and appreciative moan when Quinn pinched Tina's nipple. After a few more minutes of teasing her nipple, the Asian detached her mouth from Quinn's breast so she could bring it up to capture's Quinn's mouth once more in a rough kiss._

_As their kiss progressed, the dull aching between Quinn's legs grew more intense and she pressed her thighs together in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure. Noticing this, Tina moved her hand down and gently rubbed up and down Quinn's thigh until the blonde gradually parted her legs and two of Tina's fingers pushed into her wetness..._

Quinn sat up, breathing hard. The past few weeks she had been having dreams about Tina ... _sexual_ dreams ... but this was by far the most explicit. And the most arousing. She could feel how wet she was and blushed furiously at how turned on she was by that stupid dream. Quinn didn't even like Tina. She didn't like girls. She and Tina had just shared a drunken kiss to make a jerk at a party leave her alone. That was all it was. So why did she keep having these dreams? Why did she keep glancing over at Tina's lips while they studied together. Why was she so damn curious about what kissing her again would be like?

* * *

Quinn's behavior had been off this past month and Tina couldn't figure out what was wrong. The only thing she could think to blame it on was their kiss except things had been totally normal between them right after it happened. There would be no reason for Quinn to start freaking out now when that was definitely in the past. But Tina was drawing a blank as to why Quinn had flaked out on their plans last week (they were supposed to grab pizza but Quinn claimed to have to finish a paper for her political science class when Tina knew for a fact that it was already done... she had been in the library with Quinn when she printed it out) and even now when Tina asked Quinn if she wanted to study together, Quinn claimed to have other plans then too. She didn't meant to be bitchy (even in her head) but Quinn didn't really have other friends so she had no idea what the blonde had to do.

If she was being honest with herself, Quinn was ignoring Tina like the plague. She needed for those dreams to go away and spending time away from Tina was at least a start. So she told Tina she had other plans when really she was just going to do her usual and study. Quinn was pretty sure that Tina wasn't going to venture into the library without her, so it was a safe haven.

But Tina was sick of this avoiding business and went to the library to find Quinn. After checking Quinn's usual seat all she found was a bag and jacket so she decided to hit the stacks in search of her. She looked down a few rows and finally spotted the blonde at the far end in the back corner. She turned down and walked towards Quinn, determined to get some answers as to why she was ignoring her.

Quinn was so focused on finding the right Dewey Decimal number so she could get the right book that she didn't even notice Tina was there until she heard someone saying her name.

"Tina? What are you doing here?"

"Me? What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were busy... Too busy to study with me." Tina said, clearly feeling hurt.

Quinn hated seeing that look on Tina's face but really all she could think about right now was her latest, most vivid dream in which Tina brought her to climax with her tongue working her clit. Blinking hard a few times, trying to get the already present aching between her thighs to go away, she rolled her eyes and tried to brush past Tina. Only Tina wouldn't let her and somehow ended up pinning her back against the wall.

"No. You are not going to just keep ignoring me. What the hell, Quinn? I thought we were friends," Tina said as she pressed herself into Quinn more as the blonde struggled and squirmed, trying to get away. "Tell me why you're doing this."

Quinn whimpered slightly as Tina pressed her into the wall, not even knowing what to say in response to that. Her brain probably realized that she honestly had nothing to say and besides, actions spoke louder than words... right? So she leaned forward and kissed Tina instead of explaining herself. Or at least instead of explaining herself verbally.

At first Tina was shocked but then she kissed Quinn back, grinding into her slightly as she hesitantly swiped her tongue across Quinn's lower lip. The blonde quickly accepted the tongue in her mouth, deepening their kiss. They both pretty much forgot that they were in the middle of the library and that Quinn was trying to ignore Tina and that Tina was upset with Quinn for ignoring her because they both bad been wanting this kiss ever since their last and it was _finally_ happening.

Tina instinctively ground against Quinn again as their kiss intensified and finally woke Quinn up. With Tina distracted by their kissing, Quinn was finally about to push her away and move past her. Moving quickly, Quinn grabbed her bag and jacket and made her way to the exit.

Tina finally snapped out of whatever daze she was in and went to follow Quinn, catching her just as she was walking out of the library. "Where the hell are you going? You can't just... do that then run away."

"Watch me," Quinn hissed back before she continued on her way to her apartment. She expected that to be it. For her to give up and leave her alone. Wasn't she making it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with her? Only Tina kept following her all the way back, demanding for some sort of answer and Quinn didn't have a clue what to tell her. It wasn't like she could say "No big deal but I might be kind of gay for you" ... Because stuff like that came up in everyday conversation _all_ the time and it wouldn't freak her out at all.

_Fuck._

Quinn finally reached her apartment door, Tina two steps behind her. She unlocked it and stepped inside, making the mistake of looking at Tina once more.

"Quinn. Please." Damn her and that pathetic look and the way her lips looked so kissable. No. She did not just think that.

"Leave me alone," was all Quinn said before slamming the door on Tina's face.

* * *

The rest of the semester was spent begging Quinn to just talk to her and time and time she was ignored like the plague. Somehow she managed to stop moping around long enough to finish her finals and once she was packed she took the first plane home. A summer away was the only thing she could do right now. It just hurt too much to have to look at Quinn, to be avoided when she begged the blonde to just explain what was going on. Well honestly, Tina had an idea. More than an idea. She was pretty sure she knew why Quinn seemed to hate her now. Quinn was like having an identity crisis... she kissed a girl and liked it (if the situation weren't so serious she would almost find it amusing). But that wasn't Tina's fault. It's not like she had some magic potion that turned people gay.

It was really awkward when Tina ran into Quinn's mom at the grocery store though. Of course Judy Fabray didn't recognize her, but Tina remembered how Quinn had told her one time that her mom had this weird habit of wearing yellow all the time so when she saw the explosion of yellow down the aisle she knew it could only be Quinn's mom. They didn't talk, Judy didn't even look at Tina (which she was really grateful for because she probably would have blurted out something stupid like "I made out with your daughter" on accident) but it was still weird.

* * *

_"Fuck, Tina, please. Stop teasing me and fuck me," Quinn whined out as Tina's index finger traced around the blonde's clit. Tina's other hand was on Quinn's hip in an attempt to hold her down and stop her from bucking up into her hand. She definitely wasn't ready to stop teasing Quinn just yet._

_Tina leaned down so she could whisper in Quinn's hear. "It's so sexy when you talk like that. Maybe if you beg a little more I'll fuck you. With **three** fingers." Tina purred. "Can you do that for me?" Quinn nodded desperately and bit her lip, trying to gain enough brain capacity to speak._

_"Please. Please, Tina. I want you to fuck me so bad. Please fuck me, let me come around your fingers. I'm so wet for you." Quinn let out a strangled moan when Tina's hand shifted and pushed two fingers inside._

_"You **are** wet. Naughty girl," Tina said as she kissed down Quinn's neck. Unable to contain herself, Quinn reached up and grabbed Tina's face to pull her into a kiss. Tina pulled back after a moment though and looked down at the blonde, a stern expression on her face._

_"I didn't say you could to that. So. Naughty." Tina roughly pushed in a third finger and began moving her hand quickly in and out of Quinn's wetness._

_Quinn moaned out loudly when Tina increased the speed of her fingers. "Tina, please..."_

_"You want to come? You think such a naughty girl like you deserves to come?" Tina twisted her fingers and brushed her thumb against Quinn's clit._

_"I. Oh fuck--" Quinn bit her lip. "I'm so close. Please... Please let me come. I'll behave. I--I promise."_

_Tina leaned down to kiss right under Quinn's ear, whispering, "That's my good girl" before circling around Quinn's clit as she continued to thrust her fingers rapidly. It only took a few moments and soon enough Quinn was arching her back and screaming as she came._

* * *

Quinn tried as hard as she could to forget her most recent dream and even took a midday cold shower. But even after that she found it extremely hard to concentrate on the essay she was writing. Frustrated, she slammed her book shut a little too roughly and left the library. As she walked through her apartment complex her neighbor walked out of their door just as Quinn was about to unlock hers. Before she could unlock the door and slip inside, her neighbor walked over.

"Hi Quinn. It probably isn't really your thing but there's this big party going on. Like... so many guys. You should drop by, you know, just check it out."

Quinn frowned slightly. God, she was such a loser that even her neighbors knew how boring she was. And they like never saw her. Her stubborn side was coming out though so she nodded. "Yeah, sure, where is it? Maybe I'll stop by."

It was totally awkward and a bunch of guys hit on her and tried getting her number but she felt like she had something to prove, dammit. She had to prove to herself that she wasn't gay. Those dreams didn't mean anything. They weren't even dreams. They were nightmares. And she needed the to go away. So maybe by the end of the night she ended up making out with some random guy just to prove to herself that she could. And even if she thought about how rough his lips were compared to Tina's the whole time and had to push him away when he tried to grab her boob, she knew was still totally straight.

She spent the rest of the summer finishing her classes and going to parties, drinking and making out with random guys trying to straighten herself out. And besides the fact that her dreams about Tina persisted, and no kiss with a guy made her feel quite the same way as when she was kissing Tina, operation de-gayification had been quite a success.

**college: junior year**

Tina arrived back in town just in time for the big end of summer bash. She went before her Sophomore year before she started hanging out with Quinn... No, she needed to not think about her. She had just spent the whole summer trying to get over her. Well not get over her. It's not like Tina was in love with her or anything. Did she want to make out with the blonde? Sure. But Quinn wanted nothing to do with her and she just needed to accept that and get on with her life.

Only it was hard to get on with her life when the very person she was trying to get over was standing 10 feet away from flirting shamelessly with some guy. Quinn twirled her blonde hair around her finger and she giggled at some stupid joke he told then somehow managed to trip over herself and fall onto the bonehead she was talking to. He had a salacious grin on his face as his hand casually slid down to grope Quinn as he asked her if she wanted to go someplace quieter. Quinn pushed his hand away from her chest and stumbled back a few steps. "No. No... I. I can't," Quinn slurred back. He tried grabbing her but she pushed away again. Tina felt sick to her stomach (and it wasn't just from all she had to drink that night) watching this happen and couldn't just do nothing about what she was seeing.

Walking over to the pair carefully, Tina wrapped an arm around Quinn's waist to stabilize her. "Oh _here_ you are," she said exaggeratedly before shooting a glare at the guy. He grumbled slightly before walking off.

Quinn was quite honestly too drunk to know what was happening anymore and nuzzled into Tina. "You smell like. Um. Vanilla." She giggled stupidly.

Tina sighed and began leading Quinn through the party until finally they were outside. She had quite a lot to drink that night but even through her fuzzy thoughts she knew that her apartment was a lot closer than Quinn's so she began leading them that way. There was no way Tina could walk Quinn home and then back to her own place. Plus it was late and that totally wasn't safe.

The whole time they were walking Quinn babbled on and on about completely random things. She started talking about the guy she had been talking to, who was apparently named Ray. Tina ground her teeth together, trying not to say anything stupid and completely jealous.

"He doesn't matter though. None of the guys do. I've kissed _a lot_ of guys this summer. None of them matter. Because I keep thinking of **you** ," Quinn emphasized the last word loudly, "instead of them. And so what if I have sex dreams about you. It doesn't mean I'm _gay_. They're just. Stupid dreams," she continued, slurring her words.

Tina fumbled with her keys, probably even more so now because she was thinking of what Quinn had just said to her, but eventually managed to unlock the door and ushered Quinn inside.

The blonde stumbled inside and flopped down on Tina's bed, just resting there a few moments before sitting up. Tina hesitantly walked over to her and sat down beside her on the bed.

"Y'know, this is always how the dreams start. Me, you... on a bed," Quinn said quietly before leaning in to kiss Tina, who immediately returned the kiss despite knowing that this was a terrible idea. Quinn continued kissing her slowly and a little sloppily as her hand snaked its way under Tina's shirt, cupping a breast. Tina's eyes flew open momentarily, shocked that this was really happening, but it really was so she closed her eyes again then deepened the kiss.

The kissing was sloppy and messy and a little wet and Quinn nipped at Tina's lower lip but it was also amazing and electrifying and she could feel herself growing wet just from a few kisses. Eventually Quinn pulled back and all but ripped off her shirt then stood up, stumbling on the comforter on her way, to strip off her jeans as well. Tina followed suit and once they were both in only their underwear and bra, returned to kissing.

Quinn pushed Tina back until she was lying down then clumsily crawled on top of her. After blinking a few times, Quinn gave her a silly grin. "You're really pretty."

Tina blushed slightly then moved her hands down onto Quinn's waist, pulling her against herself, whimpering slightly as they made contact. "So are you, Quinn," Tina said before leaning up to kiss the blonde once again.

Tina's thumb circled around Quinn's hipbone lazily until she finally slipped into her underwear. Quinn gasped and ground down into Tina when she pushed a finger inside. Now it was Tina's turn to groan out. The feeling of slick, wet heat around her finger was something Tina hadn't felt in a long time and God had she missed it. "You're so wet," Tina mumbled against Quinn's lips.

Pulling back, Quinn looked down a little self consciously. "That's good?"

Tina nodded as she started to move her finger in and out slowly. She looked at up Quinn's face, trying to gauge her reaction and it was pretty much the hottest thing Tina had ever seen (not that Quinn even knew what she was doing or how much Tina would be affected). Her eyes had fluttered closed and she bit her bottom lip gently in an attempt to not making any embarrassing, loud noises but she was just so damn _beautiful_ , especially like that.

She continued moving her finger in and out but grew a little frustrated by Quinn's underwear restricting her. "Quinn. I'm going to take your underwear off," she said gently before she pulled her finger out. Quinn nodded in agreement though her eyes flew open in disappointment when she Tina withdrew her finger. "Why did you stop?"

Tina giggled at the cute, confused look on Quinn's face and rolled them both to the side until Tina was on top. "So I could do this," she replied as she started peeling Quinn's underwear off. The blonde instinctively lifted her hips and whined out appreciatively as Tina kissed down her stomach until she was between her thighs.

Tina inhaled deeply, pausing and groaning out at how good Quinn smelled, then she leaned in and flicked her tongue over Quinn's clit, earning herself a loud moan from the blonde. Fuck she tasted good too.

"I, oh my God, I never knew this," Quinn paused and whimpered as Tina's tongue caressed her clit again, "this could feel so good."

This made Tina pull back and look up at Quinn curiously. "You've never touched yourself before?" Obviously Quinn wasn't having sex but if she never masturbated it was likely she had never had an orgasm. No wonder she was always such a bitch.

Quinn shook hear head, feeling self conscious again. Tina rubbed her thigh, trying to calm her down. "Hey, it's okay. Just relax. This will feel good," she said, a rare smirk crossing her face. Quinn just nodded her head and bit her lip in anticipation.

Tina leaned back down and wrapped her lips around Quinn's clit, sucking lightly. She grinned around the hard nub as Quinn bucked up and arched as she whimpered and moaned. Tina swirled her tongue around, teasing for a few more moments, before finally sliding two fingers inside.

Quinn shrieked then immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. Tina released Quinn's clit with a quiet 'pop' and giggled. "You're so cute."

Quinn would have snapped back at her but Tina was moving her fingers, twisting them ever so often, and brushing against her clit and her brain felt like it was going to explode. She must have been wound really fucking tight since she was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm because a few thrusts later and Quinn was coming hard around Tina's fingers.

Tina continued to move slowly until the spasms around her finger stopped then eased them out. She moved up the bed until they were side by side and gave Quinn a soft kiss. "Was that okay?"

Her brain still wasn't able to form words so Quinn nodded. Once she stopped panting (which she thought was actually really embarrassing) Quinn pushed herself up and unhooked her bra. Before Tina could question her, she quickly said, "The under wire was digging in..." She paused then lowered her voice, "But, um, maybe you should take yours off too."

Tina raised a brow at Quinn's forwardness but followed suit and removed her bra and, as an after thought, her underwear as well. They should be on an even playing field after all, right? "And now what?" Tina said, her voice suggestive.

Quinn looked up and down Tina's naked body. She had never looked at a girl like this before but right now she couldn't drag her eyes away. "I've never done this before..." Quinn's voice shook slightly, though whether it was from nerves or her still trying to recover from her recent orgasm, Tina wasn't sure.

"It's okay. We don't have to--"

Quinn cut her off. "I want to. I'm just. I just don't know how."

Tina reached up and stroked Quinn's cheek softly. "It's okay. I'll show you," she said before cupping her face and leaning in to kiss Quinn again.

The kiss started slowly but quickly the ache between Tina's thighs started throbbing. Breaking the kiss, Tina grabbed Quinn's hand and moved it down between her thigh. "Here, like this," she said, pushing two of Quinn's fingers inside herself. The blonde's eyes went wide at the wet, hot feeling around her fingers and looked up at Tina's face as she started moving them in and out.

"Faster, please," Tina whined.

Quinn sped up the thrusting of her fingers, her eyes still wide at what an odd (but totally arousing and hot) feeling this was. When Tina moved her hand down to play with her clit, she watched curiously, amazed at how such a little part of their body could make them feel so good.

"Quinn. I need. I, oh fuck. Another finger." So completely into whatever was going on between herself and Tina (because it felt like so much more than just sex) she nodded and pushed another finger inside then began thrusting again.

Tina knew she was close now that Quinn's fingers were stretching her so good and hitting in all the right places. She twisted her clit one last time and tensed, tightening around Quinn. The blonde's eyes went even wider at the feeling of Tina contracting around her. As soon as Tina's muscles relaxed she pulled her fingers out and wiped her hand on her comforter. She would probably wonder what the hell it was in the morning but at that moment in time she was too drunk and tired to care.

Tina pulled Quinn down beside her and kissed her before giggling weakly, "You're a natural" she said, a sleepy edge to her voice. Quinn smirked, quite pleased with herself and snuggled against Tina. "Can we sleep now?" Tina nodded, pulled away slightly and turned off the lamp. Quinn made herself useful too and pulled down the comforter before covering them both. They cuddled back together and soon enough were asleep.

* * *

"Where am I? Why am I in your bed? WHY ARE WE NAKED?" Quinn shrieked as she lifted the comforter then jumped away from Tina while trying to keep herself covered. "Don't look at me," she said, her voice in hysterics by now, as she slid out of bed (taking a pillow to try to keep herself covered) and grabbed her clothes.

"Quinn, wait... it's not that bad." That earned Tina a glare, but she was determined to not be ignored. "Can we just talk about this?"

"Talk about what? You took advantage of me. I was drunk and you, you--you pushed your gayness me."

Tina's mouth fell open in shock. " _I_ pushed my gayness on you? _You_ were the one to kiss me. _You_ were the one who crawled on top of me. _You_ were the one who told me how good it felt. _You_ were the one who came around my fingers. And then you insisted on returning the favor. So don't tell me that I forced you to do anything. You liked it. You like me. Why do you keep trying to deny it?" Her voice was rough and angry.

Quinn had fully dressed herself as Tina yelled at her. "You're lying. Why would I want this? So I can get disowned again? No. I like guys. I'm not gay. I'm not like you. So stay the fuck away from me, Chang," she hissed before storming out and slammed the door.

Tina didn't try going after Quinn, knowing the blonde would only yell at her more. Instead she she got out of bed, showered, and tried distracting herself so she wouldn't spend the whole day sobbing.

* * *

It had been weeks since Tina had talked to Quinn. The semester started and she went through the motions of school. She went to class, she did her homework, she wrote her midterms, but she was back to avoiding the library or only going there when she knew Quinn wouldn't be there.

One Friday night Tina was home watching movies (not moping at all) when her phone started ringing.

"Hello?"  
"Hey... Tina... It's Angie, from your chemistry lab?"  
"Uh yeah, hi. Why is it so loud? I can barely hear you."  
"I'm at a party. Uh... you know that blonde girl Quinn right?"  
Tina was silent for a long time.  
"Tina? Are you there?"  
"Yeah. I'm here... and yeah, I know her. Why?"  
"Uh, well she's like really drunk. And I asked her if there was someone I could call to come get her but then she kind of passed out so I took her phone and got your number. Can you come get her?"  
Tina was quiet again, then sighed. "Yeah. What's the address?"

She got to the party and quickly located Quinn. After forcing a bottle of water down her throat she finally convinced Quinn to stand up and walk with her.

"Why are you here?" Tina rolled her eyes at how slurred Quinn's speech was.

"Because someone needs to drag your drunk ass home," Tina growled back.

"I don't need your help. I was jusssstt fine."

"You were passed out, you idiot."

"Better than being a lesbian," Quinn snapped back.

Tina nearly bitched Quinn out because in her books Quinn was just as much of a lesbian as she was, and that comeback totally didn't even make sense in that context, but really all she wanted to do was get Quinn home safely and be done with this.

Quinn's apartment was a ways off but eventually they got there. Tina grabbed Quinn's purse ("What the fuck do you think you're doing, lessssbian?") and fished out the key so she could get her inside.

It was taking everything she had not to yell at Quinn but that would make her just as bad, so she made sure Quinn got in bed and then turned around and left without another word.

* * *

The second, third, fourth and even fifth time it happened, Tina just ground her teeth but endured all the stupid and hurtful things Quinn said to her but when the blonde called her a dyke that was too much.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Quinn?" Tina said once they got into Quinn's apartment. "Why do you keep doing this? Why are you such a bitch? What did I ever do to you? If you have a problem with what we did and want nothing to do with me, then stop calling me to come get you from parties. It's not my fault if you like girls. I never made you do anything you didn't want to. There are a lot worse things in the world than you liking girls." She gasped for breath as she had said that all at once.

The more Tina yelled at her the more Quinn cowered until she started crying.

"Oh hell," Tina muttered to herself before she crossed the room and sat down next to Quinn. "Stop crying. I didn't mean to yell. But seriously, you need to stop doing this."

Quinn wiped at her face sloppily before turning to face Tina. "I'm going to go to hell. My mom is going to send me to like... straight camp. And then she'll disown me again. I _can't_ be gay."

What could Tina even say to that? Obviously she didn't agree with what Quinn was saying but the values were so deeply rooted in her brain that Tina didn't think anything she said would make a difference. "At least we'd be in hell together?" She said in attempt at humor. Only it made Quinn start sobbing again.

It was hard watching Quinn like this and Tina hesitantly reached an arm up to wrap it around her shoulder. That seemed to calm Quinn down because now she was back to just snuffling pathetically. "I'm sorry. That was a really bad joke. But... you're not going to hell. You're not a bad person. It's okay to like girls. It's just how you are."

Clearly Tina was just saying all the wrong things tonight because Quinn started wailing and sobbing again. "What--but what about. What about free will?" She blubbered.

"And what about happiness? Are you happy right now? Because if you were I don't think you would feel the need to get so drunk that you don't remember what happened the next morning."

Quinn's lower lip quivered as she thought over what Tina just said. It was true. She hated who she was. She hated what she was doing with her life. She just wasn't happy. She rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, dropping her face into her hands. Tina retracted her arm from around Quinn's shoulder and moved to get off the bed.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Quinn lifted her head up and looked at Tina, her voice becoming slightly hysterical again.

"Uh, well you need to go to sleep and I need to go home."

"Stay. Please."

Tina sighed. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"At least until I fall asleep?" Quinn scooted over in her bed, presumably making room for Tina.

She was so going to regret this but Quinn looked so pathetic that she couldn't just leave her. "Fine," she said before moving until she was leaning against the headboard. Quinn immediately moved so her head was in Tina's lap and she hugged around her thighs. Tina looked down at Quinn wrapped around her, slightly panicked. How was she going to get out now?

Quinn was already lightly snoring. Fantastic...

* * *

Quinn opened her eyes slowly, wincing at the brightness in her bedroom. She really shouldn't have taken those shots with that guy. Or played that last game of beer pong. Though she did make two shots. That was like an all time record for her. She had really lousy aim. She smacked her lips, disgusted with how dry her mouth was, then sat up so she could go get some water. As she went to swing her legs off the side of the bed, however, she kicked one Tina Cohen-Chang, who was propped up against her headboard, fast asleep.

Tina grunted as she was kicked and her eyes shot open in time to see the glare Quinn was giving her.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" She quickly lifted her comforter to make sure she was still clothed and was only slightly relieved to see that she was. It still didn't explain why Tina was in her bed.

"I--uh, you asked--" Tina was having such a hard time spitting it out she felt like she was back in middle school, faking her stutter again.

Quinn cut her off before Tina could finish explaining herself. "Get out. Now."

"What?" Tina looked at her indignantly. "Are you serious? You beg me to stay and now you're kicking me out? Do you even remember anything we talked about last night?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Why would I do that? Just get out." Quinn crossed her arms and looked at Tina expectantly.

"You know what? Fine. Fuck you, Quinn. I'm done. Next time you're drunk off your ass don't call me, expecting me to come take care of you. I'm sick of this and I deserve better. It was nice knowing you," Tina snapped back before storming out of the apartment.

* * *

A few (sober) weeks passed for Quinn but eventually that hollow and unhappy feeling in the pit of her stomach was aching so bad and she just needed some release so that's how she found herself at a party Saturday night. It was much the same as others she had previously attended. She drank, she flirted, she made out with a random guy. Only the guy she was with that night kept groping her and even though she was wasted she wasn't about to have sex with him. She pushed him away and told him she was going to the bathroom then discreetly (or so she thought) left the party. Her guy definitely noticed though and stumbled out after her, following her down the street.

"Come on baby, let me take you home. You have such a pretty little ass. I'd love to tap that."

Quinn crossed her arms and walked faster, as if that would protect her from the creep following her down the street. She stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk and the guy reached out and grabbed her arm, preventing her from falling over.

"Uh. Thanks. But you know, no thanks," she said, slurring slightly.

"Don't be like that. I did something for you. Now you do something for me. Preferably in my pants," he said, laughing at his own "cleverness".

Quinn tried yanking her arm free from his grasp but he only tightened his hand around her arm. "Stop. You're hurting me. Let me go," she said as she continued to struggle against him.

"Stop struggling baby and let me pound that pussy," he tugged her closer.

Quinn didn't know what else to do so she twisted so she was facing him and kicked him in the crotch, hoping to God he would let her go. Thankfully it worked and he fell to the ground, clutching his groin in pain.

"Get back here you bitch. You fucking slut. Get back here!" He yelled after her as she ran away. She didn't know exactly where she was running, too panicked to even think straight but soon enough she found herself pounding on Tina's door with one hand and wiping away tears furiously with the other.

At first Tina thought it was her rowdy neighbors going at it but even they weren't that vigorous when getting it on, so she reluctantly opened her eyes, flipped on her lamp, then sat there a moment trying to figure out what the noise was. When she finally realized it was someone at her door she quickly rushed over, peeked through the spy hole and immediately pulled the door open upon recognizing Quinn's blonde hair.

"What are you--?" She cut herself off when she noticed the state Quinn was in and tugged her inside. The blonde immediately collapsed in her arms, letting out dry sobs as Tina directed her to the couch.

"Quinn... What happened?" Tina asked, her voice laced with concern. She looked Quinn up and down, trying to make sure she wasn't injured or anything, but when she saw no obvious wounds she put a hand under the blonde's chin, trying to get her attention. "Quinn. I need you to tell me what happened."

After a few more ragged gasps, Quinn finally looked at Tina. Only she was glaring at her, which Tina hasn't been expecting at all, but she waited for Quinn to talk, really quite worried and curious about why she was so upset. "Why weren't you there? Where were you tonight? I needed you tonight and you weren't there. Where were you?!" She was nearly shrieking towards the end.

"Hey, calm down. Why wasn't I where? What happened?" Even though Quinn was practically yelling at her, Tina could smell the alcohol on her breath and knew she wasn't in her right mind so she just tried to stay as patient as she could.

"I--there was a guy. And he was hurting me. See look at my arm," she pointed to the forming bruise on her bicep to emphasize her point. "And he was trying to drag me somewhere so he could 'tap my ass' or whatever he said and he was hurting me," Quinn said quickly then started gasping for breath as she began to panic again. "And you weren't there and I needed you to be there and where were you?"

Tina of course felt terrible that Quinn had been in that situation but hadn't she made it clear that she was done with all this? That she couldn't deal with this anymore? That she couldn't be the punching bag for Quinn's homophobic slurs and obvious self hate? She liked Quinn. She really did. Hell, she might even love her. But what had been going on between them the past year wasn't healthy at all.

"Quinn, I... I already told you that I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry that happened to you." She paused, and took a deep breath, trying to convince herself to remain strong. Quinn was always sweet and could deal with the fact that she might have more than friendly feelings toward her when drunk but Tina knew in the morning the blonde would be back to calling her a dyke and hating her guts. There was only so many times she could have her heart smashed and remain sane (if she weren't already crazy by this point). "You can sleep on the couch but that's it, okay? I can't do this." She got off the couch to grab a pillow and blanket and returned to Quinn's side.

"Uh... here, Quinn. I'll get you some water and asprin, too so just a sec," Tina said. She mentally added tissues on her short list of things to bring Quinn because her face was a mess, mascara streaming all down her cheeks, and she just looked so pathetic.

Quinn swallowed the pills and drained the cup of water then accepted the tissue to blow her nose. That really wasn't what Tina had in mind, but like she needed to do what she needed to do. Only Tina couldn't let her go to sleep looking like such a mess so she grabbed another and began wiping away the makeup.

"I love you, Tina," Quinn said suddenly.

Tina's eyes widened, though she didn't respond just yet and continued wiping at her face.

"Did you hear me? Sometimes I just think things and don't actually say them out loud but I was pretty sure I said that out loud. Anyway, I said I love you, Tina. Or I think I said it. But if I didn't I'm saying it now." Quinn was talking really fast and her speech was a little slurred and it took everything Tina had not to say it back because she was just so damn cute and she could feel how genuine she was. But then she reminded herself that in the morning she wouldn't remember this at all and was glad she kept quiet.

She finished cleaning off Quinn's face, picked up the tissues and glass and stood up. "Try telling me when you're sober," she responded before walking away.

When Tina woke up in the morning Quinn was already gone, just a neat pile of folded blankets on the couch.

**college: senior year**

"Hi, my name is Quinn and I think I'm an alcoholic." She bit her lip nervously as everyone greeted her with a "Hi, Quinn," then continued. "Um... I drink to deal with the fact that... I like girls. Well, I like _a_ girl. I _love_ a girl. But I have a hard time dealing with my, uh, feelings unless I'm drunk. I was raised really religious and I'm scared my parents will disown me if they find out about this. But now the girl won't talk to me and even if she never will again, I know this isn't healthy. And I want to be sober," she concluded.

The group applauded her as she returned to her seat and then the next member approached the podium.

* * *

The first meeting had been the hardest. It had difficult to admit that she was in love with a girl when she was sober. It had been even more difficult to say in front of a group of people. And it made her panic slightly, thinking of the fact that she couldn't go to a party and drink to make herself feel better. Just thoughts like that made her ashamed of her actions. But it was true and no matter how many times she got drunk, it wasn't going to change.

She didn't try contacting Tina, she wanted to get her act together first. And that was what she focused on during the summer between Junior and Senior year. She thought she might die of embarrassment, but she went to church for the first time in months and went to confessions. That poor priest... She met friends who weren't drunken college kids. She looked for law schools to apply to, as she was majoring in political science and thought it might be a good career for her.

By the time school started again, Quinn had been sober three months and was actually happy for the first time in years.

She didn't run into Tina until midterms. She was taking a study break to go for a walk and get some coffee and Tina was sitting outside the coffee shop, typing away on her laptop. After much deliberation, the blonde squared her shoulders and approached Tina.

She cleared her throat slightly to make her presence known then said, "Can we start over?"


End file.
